Killin' Them Softly

“Some people try to bury you. Even the ones that’s closest”

I was a young nigga.

She was getting money from her ol’ man

just to buy me Timbs.

My granny said, stay out of that yard—

that’s not the yard you play in.

She was strict.

I was undisciplined.

Hearing shots bust,

hooping out windows, trying to catch the Papi bus.

I saw Poppy once. (Poppy my nigga)

And to those other niggas that told,

and hated,

that tried to ruin my reputation—

for my losses,

for all my time wasting,

I appreciate you.

You made me better

than I could ever be.

This ain’t no thank you.

This is an apology.

Because you saw something

you won’t ever be.

And how could you fathom

a nigga like me—

doing, becoming, growing,

and living better than you?

Huh?

Never, right?

Never in a million years.

Right?

I apologize.

Heart Numb

“Some habits begin as shields.”

I would drink

until my heart was numb,

until the feeling

wasn’t recognizable.

I had to stay drunk

to keep up with

the rest of them.

Not knowing

how it feels

when she’s the only thing

that makes you want

to breathe.

In a dream,

doing robberies.

My heart

was harder than me.

Empty your pockets.

Lemme see.

Survival of the fittest.

Mobb Deep.

Never Change

“Some advice survives by being tested.”

Taz told me

to never change.

When he died,

I adapted his pain.

Young Jedi,

moving like the redeye,

selling packs in a day.

Armor-detta—

the delta of it,

of the whole thing.

Sitting in Teterboro

in my class,

watching planes.

Money and cash—

we played it fast.

became a thing.

Then my brother

started selling crack.

We legends

to this day.

Night Work

“Need repeats itself until it’s answered.”

My fucking street life—

where at night

we do our own.

Fuck broke.

We gotta get that dough.

We gotta get that dough.

We gotta get that dough.